Post by Triia on Jan 30, 2006 15:55:20 GMT -5
I found this little item and thought it would be appreciated here in light of the recent entry to the Guild Lore contest. It didn't seem right to start a whole new thread for it and it didn't seem to fit anywhere else though. I thought this might be a good thread to have for posting any amusing/odd/interesting/etc. tidbits that don't quite fit anywhere else. Anyway.... enjoy! ;D
The Froggish Commandments
And it came to pass that the Pick-Up Group found itself Wandering in the Desert, which is indeed the Traditional Venue in which to Wander. And in the Fullness of Time, they did come across the Ancient Weapon, and did spend some time Puzzling over its Nature and Application, a mystery which indeed no Mortal has Solved to this day.
And out of the Great Flame which issued from the Ancient Weapon, there sprang the Green Image of the Holy Frog of Tyria. And it did Address the Party in a Voice, or at least a Croak, like Thunder.
(The Mesmer, whose mind ran along more Intellectual Lines than the others, was heard to mutter something about what a Frog was doing in the Desert. But nobody paid him any Attention, for this was Nitpicking.)
And the Holy Frog did speak thus: "Hie thee to the Mesa on the Far Side of the Arid Sea, for there shall be found the Tablets of Stone bearing My Commandments to My People." And the Party, knowing which side of their Bread was Buttered, did hasten to Obey.
It must be recorded that along the Way, the Party sighted a Cohort of Mobs, and the Warrior did Aggro them, and verily, did get Pwned. And the rest of the Party did Shrug and make no Comment, for this was Par for the Course. The Necromancer did summon a pair of Bone Minions from the remains of the Warrior, and the Party was much Cheered, for not only was it Larger than it had started out, but also more Intelligent.
And in the Fullness of Time, the Party did climb the Mesa and traverse the Fallen Statue (not without the occasional Complaint of, "But I've already done the 15 point quest!"), and did find ten Tablets of Stone where formerly there had been only two Piles of Wreckage and a Snake Dude. And they took up their Duty of Transporting the Tablets to Civilisation. Except for the Elementalist, who was heard to say, "Carry those great heavy lumps of rock? Totally bogus, dudes, I'll break my nails!" And the Holy Frog did Strike her with Lightning, which she was not Expecting, being a Lazy Type who had been Run to Droknar's and thus missed out on unlocking that Skill.
And the remaining members of the Party were once again Cheered, for there were now two more Bone Minions to help with the Heavy Lifting.
But moving ten Lumps of Rock from A to B is still a great deal of Work, and the time came when some of the other Party members began to mutter to the Holy Frog about Breaks and Cold Beers.
And the Holy Frog said, "Just Keep Taking The Tablets."
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1. I am the Lord thy Frog, and thou shalt have no other Amphibians before Me.
2. Thou shalt remember that all Professions are of equal Merit in My Sight, and of equal Effectiveness when properly Played, both against other Human Beings and against the Computer Generated Hazards of the World of Tyria. Thou shalt not be heard to say, "Class X is useless, don't invite any of them," nor indeed be heard to say, "We need another Class Y, we only have three of them so far," for this Sort of Thing merely indicates to thy Fellow Players that it is Thyself who is likely to be the Weakest Link.
3. Thou shalt remember that the Game is a Game of Teamwork, and shall place the Good of the Team above the Selfish Ends of the Individual at all times, lest thou get Smitten by the Wrath of the Gods, or failing that, by the Skills of the Better Organised Team on the Other Side of the Arena.
4. Thou shalt not Criticise the way thy Neighbour plays the Game, if it does no Harm to the Enjoyment of Others. For verily, it is one of the Great Strengths of the Game that there are many ways to Enjoy it, and none of them is the One True Way. The Holy Frog, having tried many times to Cross the Road in the Antediluvian Days of Video Games, hath conceived an Intense Dislike of One Way Streets.
5. Thou shalt not Aggro unnecessarily, for this does not only Royally Peeve thy Teammates, but in all likelihood also Severely Endangers thy chances of Completing thy Mission.
6. Thou shalt not draw Images of a Dubious Nature upon thy Radar, for nothing convinces thy Teammates more quickly that thee is a Terminal Noob.
7. Thou shalt not Spam outside the Trade Channel. Thou shalt be Very Careful about Spamming inside it too, if thou knowest what is Good for thee.
8. Thou shalt not Covet thy neighbour's Drops, for verily, the Devs have ordained that the Drops droppeth equally for All, and All Things shall come to those who Wait. And besides, Arguing with a Random Number Generator maketh thou look like a Twerp.
9. Thou shalt not Call for the Nerfing of every new Build that someone comes up with, for verily, Inventing new Ways to use the old Skills is indeed the very Spirit of the Game. When thou has Trouble coming up with a Counter to the latest Uber Build, thou shalt Remember that all Builds that have seemed Uber in the Past have fallen, and in the words of the Ancient Prophet, This Too Shall Pass.
10. Thou shalt not engage in Second Guessing and Uninformed Prophesying concerning the Dates and Contents of Future Upgrades, for verily, the Holy Frog is not only the Authorised Representative of the Creators of the World of Tyria, but is also an Animal possessed of Mysterious Natural Wisdom and All That Crap, and knows Perfectly Well when Summer begins and ends, Thank You Very Much.
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(Disclaimer: The preceding is a work of fiction. No actual frogs were involved in the creation of this post.)
Written by: Copperthorn
From GWOnline.net
